Sam, Sundaes and a System Lord
by chatnoir1
Summary: A Goa'uld walks into BaskinRobbins. Seriously, another Ba'alSam fic. They bond over sundaes, sort of.


Sam, Sundaes and a System Lord.  
Disclaimer: Not mine, alas. I just play with them  
I think Ba'al and Sam have great chemistry, who else could punch him in the nose and get away with it?

Sam sat down towards the back of the Baskin-Robbins with her Reese's Peanut Butter Cup sundae. She was alone. No other SG1 team members in attendance. This was just Sam time, and she planned to make the most of it. She was slowly savoring the first spoonful when it all went downhill.

"Mind if I join you?"

Sam sighed, stuck her spoon back into the sundae and glared at the intruder. "If I said no, would it make any difference?"

"Of course not." Ba'al treated her to his trademark smirk as he sat down across from her. "You should have known that without asking. That worries me a bit."

Sam noted Ba'al had ordered a Kissables sundae, probably not a random choice. She snorted. He might be a System Lord in search of a system to govern, but the ego was alive and kicking. But, he was damned good-looking.and might be kissable, to someone. "I see the Ori didn't kill you, or are you a clone?"

"I was merely stunned. Which reminds me, I thought you never left a man behind, yet you abandoned me." Ba'al placed a hand over his heart." I was deeply hurt."

"You are not a member of the team, you were just tagging along, being annoying." Sam stabbed her sundae with her spoon. Damn Ba'al. Damn Goa'uld. Damn Ori. Damn Mitchell for that matter, for insisting she take the day off. Damn. Damn. Damn.

Ba'al watched Sam's massacre of her sundae, a wry smile on his face, eyebrow raised. He reached over and took a spoonful of it. "What has that poor sundae ever done to you?" He chuckled at Sam's outraged expession. "What? Are you going to punch me in the nose again?"

"I was thinking about someplace much lower."

"Ah. It would be rather hard to execute such a move while we are both sitting."

"I'm willing to wait until you stand." Sam cracked her knuckles.

Ba'al cocked his head, smiling, then he laughed. "I don't intimidate you at all do I, Samantha? Most interesting."

Sam was going to protest over the Samantha, but she decided why fuel the fire. Instead, she reached over and took a spoonful of Ba'als sundae. Ba'al just continued to laugh.

"As I have mentioned before, your planet is not without its charms. These sundaes for instance. The Daily Show, Chinese take out, the Internet, satellite television, designer clothing, beautiful women." He looked her in the eyes as he said the last and Sam just snorted again. "You are a beautiful woman, Samantha."

"I'm blonde, Ba'al. You like blondes. Everyone knows that. It's written on the wall in men's and women's restrooms all across the galaxy."

Ba'al frowned a bit. "It is?" He shrugged. "No matter. You are also intelligent."

"For a Tau'ri female, as I remember it. Not exactly a compliment. Though I should consider the source."

"You must admit that we do work well together."

"When you aren't posturing or whining or threatening my friends."

"We have a certain chemistry." Ba'al stabbed at his own sundae. Damned stubborn female.

"A volatile one. We are mortal enemies."

"I'll admit I have some, ehm, unresolved issues with O'Neill. Apart from that, I have no wish or intent to cause harm to anyone here. I just want to be left in peace, buy some beachfront property, and sit there having drinks with tiny umbrellas. Play a few rounds of golf."

"Ok. I can see the beachfront property and the drinks with tiny umbrellas, but I'm having a hard time picturing you playing golf."

"For some reason, hitting a small ball with a club is part of doing business on this planet. I've closed more than a few deals over a round of golf. I even had shirts made with my sign on them. I would be happy to send you one, if I could have your off-base address."

"Uhm. No?"

"No matter, if you will not give it to me, I have other means of obtaining it."

"Knock yourself out."

Ba'al shook his head sadly. "Now you are beginning to remind me of O'Neill. And I thought our date was progressing nicely."

"We aren't on a date, Ba'al."

"Aren't we? Our second actually. The first was cut short. We chatted pleasantly over bad commissary food."

"You call that a date?"

"I see your point. Well, we can call this our first then. We've had very civil conversation, shared one another's sundaes, talked about my preference for blondes, our chemistry."

"This doesn't qualify as a date either. Dates are arranged beforehand. You just showed up." Sam frowned slightly. "How did you just happen to walk into this Baskin-Robbins anyway?"

"Oh. I was following you." Ba'al scooped out the last spoonful of his sundae. "I've been following you since you left the Victoria's Secret shop. Sadly without a little pink bag."

"You were stalking me." Sam shook her head. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised." Sam got up. "I'm leaving. Try to follow me and I will put the toe of my boot up your arrogant ass so hard, your symbiote will have a headache for a week." She headed for the exit, Ba'als laughter echoing behind her. Oh that was it. She knew exactly what to do. She walked back grabbed Ba'al by the chin, then kissed him deeply. As the former System Lord's eyes grew wide and he responded to the kiss, Sam broke it off and gave Ba'al a slap that sent his ears ringing. Then she spun around once more and left.

Ba'al rubbed his cheek and smiled. "Interesting. Most interesting."

Sam smiled to herself as she walked down the sidewalk towards her car. She'd slapped Ba'al. She'd...slapped...Ba'al. A little traitorous voice in the back of her mind said 'You kissed him too. And it wasn't bad.' "Hush. Lalalalalalala.." She realized she'd said the last out loud, and a few folk were giving her strange looks. Damn Ba'al anyway. She got into her car and headed home.


End file.
